Relax – How to Make Time for a Soft Landing

This article is about making time for relaxation and recuperation.


  • Don’t need to be Busy All the Time
  • Eliminate Fussing and Fidgeting
  • Finding Tranquility
  • Less is More


Once the man has exhausted the testosterone from solving problems all day or the woman her oxytocin from sharing and caring, a person needs their ‘Me’ time to replenish those hormones. We need the soft landing at the end of our day to avoid falling into a funk.

Not having time to relax and wind down to let the body recover is a problem. Time could be exhausted by a busy livelihood or being consumed by technology.

Being rewarded with success from work may inspire us to work beyond our limits.

Social media can be addictive. The clickbait plays on the pleasure senses that can push us beyond what is healthy. Once we have surpassed our limits, we need downtime to recharge our body’s chemistry.

The following are some ‘Me’ time issues.

The Busy Body

Why do we need to be busy all the time? One study 1 showed that when children were placed on a busy schedule all the time, they reacted badly to downtime. There was boredom, depression and in some cases, tantrums. The kids afforded downtimes on a regular basis were more adjusted, learned to play, experiment, or found other relaxing activities.

Forcing an overactive schedule has consequences. Those with nervous energy might believe the day needs to be filled with activity. After effects could be burnout where brain hormones are depleted causing a chemical imbalance. Parkinson’s disease can result from overactive work.

Having free time can be a luxury for some folks. Time for hobbies, vacations, dancing, or concerts would be nice.  Busy folks may not even have time for these nice-to-have activities, so substitutes like breathing exercises and meditation are needed.

Maybe instead of waking up and checking your emails and social media, wait until chores and exercises are complete. The cell phone could interfere with a healthy disposition and the addictive stimulation could drain hormonal resources. Controlling the compulsive behavior toward hi-tech stimulation is difficult but necessary.

Fussing and Fidgeting

Nervousness can cause fussing instead of focusing on the value-added activity. The time that could be spent productively is instead wasted on fidgeting. By doing activities more efficiently, we can make more time for ourselves.

Overall health affects the nerves. A diet that is deficient in what our system needs can cause agitation. Of course, always consider your health practitioner but check out Dr. John Gray’s recommendations on supplementation.

A bad gut is often the culprit in health issues causing nervousness. Eating a cup of black beans per day should cure the gut and make you resilient. Otherwise, eat in moderation. Too much of anything in the gut is bad and has consequences, so take it easy. Push the plate away, as they say.

Try getting into the habit of exercising to work off the nerves. Exercise, like jogging, calisthenics, or weight training, increases the hormone dopamine that soothes the dendrites.

Dr. John Gray 2 recommends some supplements, like Lithium Orotate, Phosphatidyl Serine, Liposomal Vitamin-C, and others that help with calming the brain and nerves.

Dr. Gray also wrote, “Beyond Mars and Venus”. His books and videos explore ways to help with marital issues. A better relationship can relieve stress and nervousness.

Dealing with people that seem like idiots can be agitating. If some people agitate you, the book “Surrounded by Idiots”, by Thomas Erikson may help. This book sheds light on personality types and how some people, to us, seem like idiots because of distinct personality differences. Maybe you won’t be as upset by idiotic behavior.

Finding Tranquility

The ancients of Asia were brilliant but mystic philosophers. The old mystical writings have been decoded to make them relevant in today’s world. Many modern maladies can be avoided if we harness the intent of these teachings and find peace.

One trending technique is counting your breaths for a half hour and focusing on your internal body instead of external stimulations.  This exercise balances an amplified brain and regulates the hormones, oxytocin, and testosterone. Schedule this downtime as needed, in a private area when possible.

In Taoism, there is the “Doing, Not Doing” principle. What this cryptic saying means is, “Do without doing non-value-added activities”. For example, we can paddle a boat with oars or put on sails and let the wind take us. The “Doing, not doing” principle says to use the sails. This doesn’t mean being lazy, it means being smarter. The takeaway is when you sail through life, there is more time to relax. See Milos Kraguljac 3 YouTube on “Tao in Everyday Life,” to understand ancient’s thoughts on tranquility.

Music and Song

Welcome music and songs to your life. Sound can be relaxing. Listening to music can be a form of ‘Me’ time.


In marriage, what is more important, being right or being happy? Marriage is more about diplomacy so avoiding arguments rewards with more ‘Me’ time.4

The burden of extra possessions

Taking care of non-value-added possessions is a waste of time. Clutter is normally things you don’t need or don’t know how to get rid of. Boxes of old memorabilia, newspaper clippings, old photos, toys, and outdated gadgets are just some examples of candidates. The best is getting a coach to see you through the purge. Left on your own, you may get caught up in nostalgia, so a helper can push you through.

As for the “where” to dump non-value-added things, donate or chop in pieces and put in the dumpster what you can. Things of value to others but not of value to you, sell on eBay, Craigslist, or garage sale.


Living Large vs Living Small

“Oh, look at me, my big fancy house, my cars, my boat- I’ve made it, I’m something special.” When you think about it though, as enviable as these things are, these things can suffocate your ‘me’ time. Consider becoming a minimalist or right-sizing your life. Surely it might be worthwhile having more relaxing activities than doing the lawn and waxing the boat all weekend long.

Minimizing can be challenging but the rewards can be having more quality time for yourself, and your loved ones. Having quality time makes the effort worthwhile. Some possible points of interest:

  1. If things are spaced more conveniently to how you use them, it saves motion and time. Arrange furniture that makes it safe and convenient. Try not to oversize furniture. If the furniture to too heavy to move, that space is trapped, and you waste time avoiding that space.
  2. How you move. Think of your motions. Using less motion but having the same outcome saves time and energy. Here’s a hack:
    1. Turn your sneakers into slip-ons by skipping the top loop and double knotting the laces. You never have to take time to tie them again.
  3. Messing around with complicated gadgets can waste a lot of time. Learn to use simple tools. Have the right tool for the job nearby.
  4. Say the same thing with fewer words. Get to the point and serve it with a smile.
  5. Limit your spending by knowing the product or service. Buying the wrong thing or bad service can waste time.
  6. Have a simple house that is easy to clean.
  7. Write on paper more, and type on laptops less.

What are some of your time savers?

Make time for that soft landing.


  1. Too Many Extracurricular Activities for Kids May Do More Harm Than Good
  2. John Gray – Beyond Mars and Venus
  3. YouTube – Tao In Everyday Life, by Milos Kraguljac
  4. How can we be a Better Listener

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